2016 in quick review.

2016 was the start of this blog.  I had a vision for it that I haven't been able to crystallize.  It started about being all things Catholic, but I have a far more complicated life, or so it seems anyway.

So I have been working on evolving the idea, as well as a lot of many other personal goals.

2016 was a year I grew spiritually, but it still is a struggle.

I admire people who live and breathe their spirituality, their religion, their beliefs.  But it seems like no matter how hard I try, it just doesn't come naturally to me anymore.

There was a time I genuinely felt God's presence within me and around me.  Perhaps this is what Jesus and St. Therese the little flower mean when they say that the Kingdom of God belongs to little children.

But now there's a certain spiritual dryness.  I don't know if suddenly I'm "too grown" and unable to trust God so completely, as I used to.

There's more to this idea, but for now,  I hope you get the drift.

2016 was a year in which I made no resolutions, because I hardly ever keep to them.  But I think I learned a few things, meet new people, solidified friendship with a few others, and grew personally and as a couple with my boyfriend.

Right now, however, I am in a transition phase and I'm riding it as much as I healthily can.  2016 is ending in transition, and I'm hoping things will settle in 2017.

So, here's to a 2017 full of beauty and stability, health and prosperity.  And to resolutions we can follow. 😊

So in love, for 2 years now.

It has been 2 years since my boyfriend and I made our relationship official.  It has been 2 wonderful years, with highs and lows but mostly highs.

Dating long distance is not for the faint of heart, but we are making it work.  Hopefully, we will soon know when he's moving out here with me. ❤

Here's being thankful with 737 days under the belt and many, many more to come!

Thankful this winter.

I'm super late for my thanksgiving post.
As commonplace and standard as it may sound, I'm thankful for all the positive people and things in my life.  I'm thankful for a loving and understanding boyfriend, a wonderful, spunky son, and a small group of friends.  I'm thankful for a home and spending money, as well as food on my plates (with enough to share!)

But now, to talk about the harder things to be thankful for.  For example, my clutter (the bane of my existence).  While I have talked somewhat about how stressful it is, I'd also like to recognize that it is (unfortunately) a sign of a certain kind of abundance.  I'm also thankful for my medical conditions, as they allow me to appreciate the health I do have and the plight of other fellow #spoonies.  I'm also thankful for a crazy, stressful schedule of activities, as they are a reminder that I am utilizing the health I do have.

I'm thankful for the health I don't have, as it also reminds me that I need humbleness and the help of others to get through a rough patch in life.  Speaking of rough patches, I'm thankful for them, too. They remind me of how lucky I am to not be as lonely as my mind makes it out to be.

What are you thankful for?

It's been a while since I posted anything.

It's been a while since I have posted anything.  This is a check in post.  Life has had me busy.  You know, going to school, taking care of my son, attending Mass as frequently as possible, some of the usual. 

But I have been going through a period of spiritual dryness.  I have no doubt that God exists and that He is here with us, but I have been wrestling with doubts about my Faith and my life.

In spite of all this, I adhere to obedience.  I am somehow convinced that if there is a way out of this dryness is by obedience.  I attend confession somewhat regularly and I go through the motions, even though there hasn't been a lifting of the spirit at absolution, like I usually feel.    I attend Mass as regularly as possible and have even been to adoration.  Yes, I feel his presence, but something is missing and I don't know what.

I am hoping that my depression isn't robbing me from this communion, but it feels like doubt wins lately.

I struggle with so many things but I try to not worry and just be happy.  Be joyful.  And be not afraid.

There are many changes going on in my life right now.  Like I had said, I started school.  And my long distance boyfriend is about to become local to me (yay!)  I have a lot of stress but I keep Faith in the possibility that God won't burden my life with more than I can handle.

But I do have to figure out what about my free will.  Have I taken on more than I should have?  Have I made choices that have led me to this dryness?

It's all so complicated in my mind.  But obedience.  Being like a little child.  Trusting that God will provide.  It's all so hard.  But we must keep trying.  Right?

Being Grateful

In the world we live in, we are constantly bombarded by the idea that a better car, a better house, better clothes, better friends, etc. will bring us happiness.  But not very often do we stop to think to be grateful for what we already have.  Have you ever stopped to thank God for what you do have?  Your health, your job, your friends and family?  And how would being truly thankful for what you do have change your view of the world into one of happiness?

I have recently shared how gratitude and journaling about it has helped me with my depression.  While the change is a work in progress and has had its ups and downs, it certainly has forced me to look at what I do have in my life and to appreciate even the little things, because somedays - and we've all had those days - that's all we seem to have to be thankful for:  the little things.  And on the better days, be sure to stop and smell the roses and everything big you do have, because it is worth noting, too.

Once you start realizing what you do have and are truly thankful for it, it will be easier to eliminate clutter, live simpler, and enjoy more.  While my gratitude journey is far from perfect, I have been able to eliminate some clutter, and enjoy more of what I do have while living simpler.  I have a long way to go, but I can see the difference of where I was versus where I am and where I see myself going.

Who do we worship?

Do we really worship God?  Do we give Him his dues?  Or do we just roll around on Sundays, shut the alarm clocks, sleep "five more minutes" and then realize we are so late for Church and just have breakfast/brunch and watch a rerun on Keeping up with the Kardashians?

I know, it is so tempting to sleep in on Sundays, especially when Mass is offered so early in the USA.*  Especially when it seems to be the only day we can sleep in.  Or when it seems to be the one day we can really rest after spending Saturday catching up with everything else we didn't do during our busy weekdays.  I know.  I have been there.  I have missed Holy Sunday Day of Obligation because I was so busy just... catching up on some really needed zzzz's.

But who do we really worship?  It's one thing to miss Mass one day for whatever reason, and another to miss Mass because we're binge watching THAT show one Netflix or Keeping up with whomever!

Piggybacking on my post from 6/20/2016, Of Clutter and the Kingdom of God, are we really putting God first?  Just a thought to put out there in your mind.  I am not talking about clutter and stuff now.  I am talking about people you put above God.  You know, that TV show you follow.  Or that artist you just can't get enough of.

Are you putting them above God?  Are you missing Mass, not saying your usual prayers, looking at sinful stuff (yes, I am looking at you, 50 Shades of Grey fans and others) because you just think that Mass is boring?

Just remember that Mass is practice for Heaven.  Can we at least dedicate one hour a week to God?  That's all He asks from us, and He still doesn't usually get as much, but those soap operas, oh My Word, we are not missing them.  Oh my Lord.  We are not missing that opportunity to binge watch Game of Thrones (or whatever other show you binge watch)??

Just something to think about.  Most parishes offer several opportunities to receive Our Lord in the Eucharist in the Mass several times a weekend (with Saturday Vigil(s) included), and we still somehow just not plan accordingly.


*In Mexico, there used to be Sunday Masses as late as 1800h.

How Do We Pray?

It is thought provocative to me... How do we pray?  Do we pray like we are superior to others?  Do we pray like we hold the truth?  Do we pray like the Pharisee, ‘O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity—greedy, dishonest, adulterous—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.’  (Luke 18: 11-12)  Do we pray standing in the corners, for everyone to see how pious we are? (Matthew 6:5) Or do we pray like the tax collector?  'O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’ (Luke 18:13)

The Pharisee is quick to point out everything he does right - and everything wrong he doesn't do.  The Tax Collector (also known as the Publican) just asks God for mercy, for he recognizes that he is not perfect.

And do we pray sincerely?  Do we pray humbly?  Do we recognize that we are not perfect and that we make mistakes?  Do we pray in our room, with doors closed? (Matthew 6:5)

Do we pray with honest intention?

It doesn't matter much if we pray all day when we are not sincere in our hearts.  When we pray for someone to have ill luck because we're angry, for example, it's time to evaluate what kind of intentions we have in our hearts.  It's okay to be angry with God.  I think it's part of every relationship to have angry moments.  But it's not okay to have ill intentions in our prayers.

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Words Will Never Hurt Me?

It is true that sticks and stones may break my bones.  It is very true that being beaten is a surefire way to get hurt.  It is very easy for us to think that because we are not physically beating somebody up, that we aren't hurting anybody up.  But is it true that words will never hurt me?

Have we stopped to think about our words?  I was bullied in Middle School and some of the stuff that was told to me is still rattling in my head to this day, even though I am 34 and I have grown so much!  It is not easy to forget what others say about you or to you. 

Words destroy and build.  They destroy in gossip, in insults and in unkind words to others.  They build others in compliments and kind words.  Sometimes, even the truth is hurtful.  And we have to discern whether the truth we tell is kind and edifying or destroying.

Words destroy in gossip and unkindness.  Have we engaged in gossip?  Have we engaged in unkind words?  Have we insulted someone?  Have our words been unkind, even at the expense of someone else?

I was once told by a priest that words "kill".  When our words kill, did you know that you should confess to a violation of the 6th commandment - Thou shall not kill?

Sometimes we take the attitude that because we are telling the truth it's okay to go ahead and be unkind.  I agree that sometimes, there's no other way than to be brutally honest (like an intervention, for example) but let's be humble and not be above others in that sense.  We can always be kind (even in an intervention) even when we are telling a brutally honest truth.

Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, All Lives Matter.

It is with great concern that I write this, as the country seems to be upside down over the deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, and then a dozen police officers targeted and gunned down in Dallas, Texas, of which 5 have died as of the writing of this blog.

First off, Black Lives Matter.  There does seem to be a systemic racism against people of color, in which they seem to be targeted by the justice system a lot more, often resulting in fatal arrests whereas people with less melanin in their skin do not end up dead.

Equally important, Blue Lives Matter.  Targeting and killing cops is not a solution either.  These people don their uniforms everyday to serve and protect everyone.

Black and Blue Lives Matter are not mutually exclusive.  I have seen in my Facebook feed that people tend to choose sides.  Either Black or Blue lives, but not both.  This is a very dangerous stance, because it seems to put colored people against policemen and policemen against colored people.  This is very wrong.  Most cops aren't bad.  Most black people aren't bad.  (Most people in general aren't bad.)  And we have to operate on the idea that most people are good and act in good conscience.  

As in all groups, there's always a bad apple (yes, even in your group), and those people should be held accountable for all wrongdoing, especially murder, whether it be a murder of a black life, blue life, or whatever other color.  They say justice is blind, but apparently, in this country, not color blind.

Also, which is it?  We hear from gun advocates that people should carry guns to stave off violence.  However, when Alton Sterling and Philando Castile were killed, "they shouldn't have had guns on them".  I don't hear the NRA coming to their defense.  Have we become accustomed to white privilege so much that this is not an outrage?

Just some thoughts.  We cannot be silent anymore.  Not taking sides is taking sides with the oppressor, as Elie Wiesel said.

Depression Brought Me Closer to God.

Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems.

I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, since 2008.  At the time, there was much turmoil in my life, and I wasn't in the Church.  I had fallen off.  I wasn't going to Mass, I wasn't praying, I was somewhat agnostic.  I was single, pregnant, and scared.  I had just come back home from a year-long deployment with the U.S. Navy.  My world had just come crashing in.  And in June 2008, mid-pregnancy, I was so depressed that my OB/GYN didn't let me leave the office.  It was that obvious that I was that sad, and I was contemplating suicide after I delivered my baby.  I just felt that worthless and that hopeless.

Soon after I delivered my baby, I lost my job.  I had married the father of my baby on a Justice of the Peace celebration.  So some things were sort of looking up.  I still tried to attempt suicide, but was thankfully too chicken to try.  I considered the possibility of Hell, since I had known this from my formation as a cradle Catholic, and after having talked to a priest about the possibility of getting married in the Church.  Either way, I was so sick that I still went down the suicide path several times.

However, through the years of treatment at the Veterans Affairs Hospital in Chicago, one of the things they push, is that spirituality may be a pillar that keeps you sane.  Over and over this possibility was brought to the table as part of my treatment, and over and over I turned it down.

I had fallen into the idea that intellect alone should save me from the throes of depression.  I had fallen in the un-humble idea that I didn't need God.  If science has so many answers and so many treatments for depression, if I just follow what science says, I should be able to overcome.

Eventually, after about 6 years of "self-sufficiency", I came across a psychologist whom I respect very much.  She insisted - without pushing or preaching - I tried the spiritual pillar of recovery as part of my recovery plan.  I eventually gave in.  She scheduled an appointment for me to meet with the Catholic Chaplain.

I would like to say that I was obedient and humble and that I was able to immediately learn from what this Priest had to say.  But it was not so.  It was only after about 1 year of talking with him back and forth that I slowly came back to the faith and I gained humility and obedience (which they are NOT perfect - way far from perfect, but I try).

I now attend Mass more than just on Saturday Vigil or Sundays and Holy Days.  Sometimes it's a real struggle, but I try my absolute best.  Not because I feel like I am all holy these days - far from it, but because I want to be closer to God.

During my last hospitalization, which was just a few weeks ago, I had a confession with this Chaplain, and mentioned how I was closer to God and more "Christ-like".  He challenged my thought.  He asked me how it was that I was more Christ-like when I was still contemplating suicide?  I realized at this very moment that I needed to be more humble and that I also needed the help of God to get through this most horrible illness.

As you can see from the timeline, I am still a work in progress -  we all are.  But it was this descent down madness that led me to eventually seek God, and return to my faith, making this Cross I bear (depression) a blessing in disguise.

As I grow in faith and prayer, I realize that as much as I hate my depression, it is also a blessing I have.  It is as much a reason to increase my prayer life as it is a reason to thank God for everything that goes on in my life, including the bad.

Of Clutter and the Kingdom of Heaven.

There is no doubt that we are a capitalist country (USA), in a consumerist culture.  We are constantly bombarded by ads that tell us we need this and that product.  We are then told that to be happy we need to have more.  And when more is not enough, we are told we need better stuff, and then when better isn't enough, we need more again, and then better and so on and so forth.  Next thing you know, we need storage spaces outside of our houses, because we have outgrown our homes, so we get a storage space.  (Did you know that storage space companies are well and thriving? I'm sure you did.)  Then we think that we have too much stuff because not only have we outgrown our houses but they are overflowing with stuff and clutter, so we hire organizers to help us with parting ways with the stuff we don't really love, need, or no longer serves us.  (Or we buy books on how to get rid of clutter, either way, I am sure you get my point.)

But, is this really the way Jesus called us to live?  Does Jesus really want us to live in cluttered homes, in a never-ending circle of unhappiness and stuff?  Didn't He say at some point (and someone please help me with the exact Bible verse) to give up all earthly riches in order to enter the Kingdom of God?  Aren't we called to be humble?

I am speculating, because I couldn't find any studies to back this up, but America has to be one of the most cluttered countries.  We are also a self-proclaimed Christian nation.  If this is the case, if we are Christian, then why are we so obsessed with acquiring stuff?  With flaunting what we have (and what we have thanks to debt)?  With impressing our neighbor?  With keeping up with the Joneses?

When did the devil get a chance to ingrain himself in society to such a degree?  That we see it normal and a blessing to be overflowing in things that in the end are nothing but vanities?  When did we, as a Christian nation, put "stuff" first, even above God?

I am trying not to judge, but how many people do you know who would rather go to the shopping mall for 4 hours to spend money acquiring things they don't really need than to go to church?  How many people do you know would rather shorten Thanksgiving dinner or skip it all together so they can go get that fancy whatever-it-is-they-suddenly-decided-they-needed-thing on black Friday?  How many people are so in debt over stuff they really didn't need?

Just some thoughts that came to my head as I was organizing my closet, and getting ready to donate clothes I no longer wear and stuff that I bought when I was feeling down and decided that "retail therapy" was the way to go.  (Yes, I am guilty of consumerism, too.)

Who am I called to be?

There comes a time in the life of Christians in which we ask "Who am I called to be?".

I can't claim to have the answers, because I don't think I do.  However, there are certain things that can help us discern who we are called to be.

Firstly, God created us in a very unique way.  No other human is exactly like us, and God had us in His mind, from the beginning of times, and placed us where and when we are.  When you think about this, I think that there must be a reason that God decided to put me in this world, in this day and age, and that I must figure out what He wants of me.

However, how am I supposed to know what He wants from me?

1.  PRAYER

Prayer is a relationship, a conversation with God.  How do we find out what others want from us?  We ask them in conversation.  So why not have the same approach with God?  You can approach prayer in any which way you want.  That is, with prayers that come from the heart, or from a book.  The basic idea here is to get talking to God.  It may take some time, but a prayerful life will bear fruit.

I know from my personal experience that prayer can seem very one-sided, especially at the beginning.  However, when we keep at it, we find out that God has ways of talking to us.

2.  LISTENING

Listening is very difficult, but as your prayer life increases, listening becomes easier.  God has many ways of talking to us.  In the homilies at Mass, in reading the Bible or the lives of the saints, in what other people may say about your problem without asking them, in dreams, etc.  However, one must be careful with listening.  Listening should be guided by the Church teachings.  God is not going to tell you, for example, to stop going to confession, because that is against Church teaching.  For help in discerning the listening, go to your nearest priest.

3.  HUMILITY

We don't know the answers to everything.  We can't do everything.  We can't make everything happen.  We can't control everything that is going on.  Not everything is going to go our way.  We must accept life's shortcomings with humility.  We are a community of Christians.  We don't need to do everything by ourselves.  With a humble mentality, we can begin to figure out how we can be of service to others.  It is often in service to others that we can begin to see what God wants of us.

4.  STOP TRYING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE

This is perhaps the most straightforward (as in DUH!) and deep (as in I hadn't thought of it before).  It is very easy to read about a person that plants a garden and tends to it, and think that is something we can do (yet we hate to dig our hands in dirt).  Or about people that do something that sounds oh-so-wonderful, but we can't do certain things about this oh-so-wonderful enterprise.  (For example, climbing Mt Everest... not everyone has the stamina to do so!)

To paraphrase Pope Francis, the Church is like an orchestra.  We are all different instruments.  Together we make beautiful music together, but we are not all the same.  It's okay to be different!

The key here is personal development.  When you concentrate on what you like, the gifts that the Lord has given you (that is, that isn't sinful!) and learn more about it, eventually, who you're called to be will be revealed.  Just remember to deepen your prayer life, prepare to listen carefully and with humility, be humble, and find yourself.

As St. Catherine of Siena once said, "If you are what you should be, you'll set the whole world ablaze."

St Anthony of Padua.

I am sure you have heard of St. Anthony of Padua.  Even if you're not Catholic, you've probably heard of him because we use his intercession a lot for finding lost things.  Well, today is his feast day.  He was a Portuguese Catholic Priest (1195-1231) and friar of the Franciscan Order.  He is popularly known as the patron saint of finding thing or lost people, as well as people in debt.

St. Anthony of Padua.

You can learn more about St. Anthony of Padua at: 

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony_of_Padua and http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/01556a.htm

On Brock Turner

I have been defiantly quiet about Brock Turner and his infamous rape case and following trial that resulted in a slap in the hand of 6 months of jail that turned out to be 3 months instead.

There has been much talk about white privilege and how he was treated with white gloves as compared to other rapists of color.  And as much true as it all that may be, I won't get into that.

I have been the victim of rape.  I have had my drink ruffied and consequently been gang-raped.  While I was out and don't remember all of the details, I do know that I was violated in the most horrible of ways.  I do know that I didn't ask for it, I didn't want it, and because it wasn't something I wanted or asked for, it has haunted me for 12 years and counting.  It is something that I have been talking about in therapy for the last 8 years of my life, and I still have nightmares about it, and wake up sweating.

Someone on my Facebook feed dared to say that we should look into forgiveness and move on.  I agree, but forgiveness doesn't mean that the perpetrator doesn't get to pay for their crime.

It has taken me a long time, but I am still forgiving my perpetrators.  I haven't chosen to forgive them because "they didn't know what they were doing" or whatever other bullshit you can come up with.  I am forgiving them because I need to in order to move on.  The anger and frustration I have had have been more than anything feelings that in the end just punish me and do not let me move on.

I never tried hard enough to bring them to justice, however.  And it is something that hangs over my head.  So yes, 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, whatever, does not seem enough punishment for a rapist, someone that violates someone in the deepest and most personal way.  I personally wish to see him rot in prison for the rest of his life, as rape is a life-altering crime.  However, at least he was brought to justice, which is more than I can say for my perpetrators, and social media has condemned him, which is some sort of justice for the victim in this case.  No, it is not enough punishment (is there ever enough punishment for rape?), but at least it's something, and it is more than can be said for all the unreported rape cases.

I still say, oust the judge, who has sentenced Brock in the stupidest of ways.  Damn the justice system, which has failed the victim in the harshest of ways.

To the victim in this case:  I hope in your recovery journey, you find peace.

How YOU can help:  Help end rape culture.  Only rapists cause rape.  No one asks for it.  Not in the way they dress, or they way they talk, walk, or dance.  Not because they drink too much, or drug themselves silly, either.  If it's not yes, it's no.  If it's not a clear yes, it's no.  If you're not sure, it's no.  It's not worth to risk something so sacred, so special over an unclear proposition.  If you have to drug them to have sex with them, it's rape.  If you have to wait until they're unconscious to have sex with them, it's rape.  It is not something you do for thrills and kicks.  It is a crime, punishable by law and your conscience.

Reporting on the 7 day challenge.

My gosh, has it been hard to be a vegetarian for 7 days!  Not because I love meat (which I do), but because being a mom on the go, I often eat out, and there aren't many vegetarian options out there!  Usually a salad, please hold the chicken!

I have a couple of days left in the challenge, and I am kind of happy that the fast will end.  I will probably keep fasting, but intermittently.  I know, it's kind of cheating, but I can't really be a vegetarian like I used to... It's just a convenience thing.  (I know, fasting is supposed to be inconveniencing...)  Just not my kind of lifestyle anymore.

But I was thinking vegetarian on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?  Or other kind of fasting?  There are many possibilities.  But for now, it has been hard!  I know it gets easier the longer you do it and the more you are committed to it, because like I said, I used to be vegetarian (like 12 or 15 years ago...)

The purpose of the fast was to strengthen my prayers.

7-day challenge in June.

Inspired by Fr. Dave Dwyer's 30-day challenge of the Busted Halo Show, I decided to do my own 7 day challenge.  I unfortunately only caught the tail end of it, and as much as I love the Busted Halo Show, I will be perfectly honest, I am probably not going to have the time to look for the podcast and listen to it.  It would probably serve me well to do so, but I likely won't.  Since their 30-day challenge starts on June 20, I am pretty sure they will talk about it again, so I will probably talk about it again when I hear about it next.

But for now, from today to June 13, I will have my very own challenge.  You can join me, and I highly encourage you to join me.  I will give up meat and soda.  I will become ovo-lacto-vegetarian for those 7 days.  I will offer this sacrifice for Christians persecuted around the world, especially in China and the Middle East, as well as for the religious education of children who are not being educated in the Faith, but that otherwise have no reason to not be catechized, especially my son, who lives with his agnostic father.

Blog writing in the middle of the night.

It is common practice for writers, to write their pieces well ahead of publishing.  This is also true of most bloggers, and most of my blog posts (though there are some, like today's, that come from the hip).

For me, inspiration tends to come in the middle of the night.  Usually, I just jot it down, or I hope that I can remember it in the morning, but last night, I was awake when inspiration struck.  I have a few blog posts that are outlined or written (and in need of editing), and I have a few topics to write about.

I got so excited writing and coming up with possible topics that I totally lost track of time, and went to sleep fairly late for my taste (12:30am - I'm like a child -  I need to go to sleep early and sleep a lot to function well).  This comes after promising my boyfriend that I would go to sleep way earlier than that.  So when I told him this morning that I didn't go to sleep as early as I had promised, he told me to write a blog about that.  So here I am, writing a blog about it.  (I love you, sweetheart!)

That said, I hope to someday gain readers, and I also hope to provide such readers with magnificent content.  For such hopes to be fulfilled, I need to be inspired and ready to write.  And I need to come up with content at least weekly, and I need to write much, even if it means in the middle of the night.  So, with this in mind, I can't continue to rely on trying to remember in the morning what it is that I thought about in the middle of the night.  Anyway, enough rambling. :) 

Harambe the Gorilla.

I am sure by now you have heard the case of Harambe, the silver-back gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo, who had to be shot in a quick decision to save a child who managed to get into its enclosure.  I am also sure you have heard the internet comments on social media and in the comments sections of the news outlets that have reported on it.  By and large, these comments ask for the head of the mother of the child, and incredible compassion and sadness for the passing of Harambe, the 17 year-old gorilla.

While it's nice and noble to feel sad for the gorilla, where is the sympathy for the child? For the parents?  Yes, silver-back gorillas are endangered species.  Yes, it seems like a harsh response to kill Harambe, but it is actually harsh to judge the child's mother, just like it is harsh to ask for her incarceration for negligence.

Here's my beef with all this.

If Harambe had been hit with a tranquilizer dart, there's a good chance that the tranquilizer would have agitated him, further putting the child's life in danger, before the tranquilizer went into effect.  This would have been very risky to the child, who could have been easily killed by Harambe.  So, in order to save the child, the gorilla had to be put down.  There should be no question about that.  I feel really sad and really bad and sorry for the gorilla, who didn't know any better, or he wouldn't have shaken and dragged the child through poop-infested waters.

Now, people are asking for the mother's head.  Where is the equality in all this?  The father would be as culpable as the mother for losing sight of the child.  With that out of the way, let's address the next two issues:  the negligence bit, and the fact that children can and will squirm away in the blink of an eye.

So the parents were negligent for a few minutes or a few seconds.  Whatever the case, the kid managed to get down there, somehow.  What parent is able to maintain eye contact over their child(ren) 24/7?  Are parents not allowed to blink anymore?  Is parenthood grounds for being unable to get distracted, even for a few seconds?  Does parenthood mean *never* sleeping again so you can be watching your kid, making sure he or she doesn't fall off the bed, or being there to wake them up when they are having a nightmare?

I am the mother of a 7 year-old, and I consider myself to be pretty watchful.  My son hardly ever gets into trouble.  But, for example, we were at Brookfield Zoo over the Memorial Day weekend.  We were walking together, but we weren't holding hands.  I got lost in thought for a couple of seconds, and next thing I hear is my son yelling "I'm lost! I'm lost!"  He was only a couple of feet away, but there were so many people that he lost sight of me.  His yelling brought me back from my thoughts, and I was able to immediately turn around and tell him "You're not lost," and holding his warm little hand back into the safety of my arms.  Was I negligent?  Was I suddenly a terrible mother?  I don't think so.  I am human, and I make mistakes.  Just as these parents are human and they make mistakes.  (And a toddler is a tiny human that has the ability to disappear in seconds.)

And lastly, children squirm away, especially little toddlers.  I am no developmental specialist, but I know from watching my son and nephew and niece grow up, that toddlers like to push limits and will often "not listen" to what parents are saying because, well, they're busy pushing limits.  It's possible that the parents were busy with other children, or lost in thought (like I suddenly was), or whatever the reason - the child managed to fall into the enclosure.  Even under a parent's watchful eye, toddlers have accidents, some light, some grave, and some even fatal.

So let's be more compassionate for the parents and the shaken child (who, btw, could have died from the shaking alone, had it been more vigorous).  And yes, let's mourn Harambe, but let's not judge the circumstances of his death.  I don't think that the life of a child should be above the life of a gorilla or any other animal - however endangered they might be.

Thankful this Memorial Day.

Memorial Day is the day we remember our fallen heroes in the United States.

Today, I write a short reflection in gratitude for those who have given the Ultimate Sacrifice.

In light of the persecution of Christians and other religious minorities in the Middle East and other parts of the world, I am really thankful for the Military and the powers that be, that keep us free to worship God.

So, this Memorial Day, make sure to be thankful to God:

• We live in a place where we are free to worship God.
• We live in a place where we enjoy many other freedoms.
• We have a mighty military that is an all-voluntary force.

Be sure to ask God:

• For the protection of those persecuted for their faith.
• For the future of those persecuted for their faith, that they might enjoy freedom of worship (that we seem to take for granted).
• For the souls of our dearly departed servicemembers and veterans, that they may enter His Kingdom.
• For the families of those who have lost their lives defending freedom around the world.

If you can, attend Mass (or a service) that honors those who have died.

Divine Mercy

Jesus will grant many graces to those who trust in His mercy.  The more we trust, the more we receive.  Even if hardened sinners were to recite this Chaplet only once, with trust, humility, and deep sorrow for their sins, they would obtain mercy, graces, and peace.

Whoever recites the Chaplet will receive great mercy at the hour of death.  When it is said for the dying, whether in their presence or from a distance, Jesus will stand between the Father and the dying person, not as the just Judge, but as the Merciful Savior.  He will grant great mercy and graces to souls as their last hope of salvation.

How to pray the Chaplet.

The Christian Faith Is So Rich.

I have a few other blogs on WordPress where the scope of what I write is so narrow, that it is sometimes hard to come up with a new topic to talk about.  This one is about my faith musings, which is admittedly broader, and at the same time narrow - it is about my faith, my Church.  But I am having very much the opposite effect with this blog.

There is so much richness, so much material about the Church, the Faith, Catholicism, that it is very hard for me to actually narrow down the topic enough to be effective.  First of all, at the macro level, while the Bible is not infinite, it is definitely a collection of many many books - Old and New Testament.  Then there is the Catechism, while based on Scripture, it also includes reflections on the lives of saints and Tradition.  Then, of course, the lives of each of the saints, the Mass, prayers, interior life (and so much more!)...

In addition, we have then what I like to call the micro-level topics - which are nothing small in and of themselves.  A specific passage in the Bible.  A specific aspect on the life of a saint.  A specific part of the Mass.

I thought that by giving myself leeway on the scope of things, it would be easier to write, but it is not.  So, in light of all of this, how does one effectively evangelize?  How does one approach someone outside the Church (or inside who needs reversion!) without overwhelming them?  I am a cradle Catholic and I sometimes feel overwhelmed!  There's just so much richness to our Christian Faith.

Christian Persecution in the Middle East

I am a recent revert to Catholicism - I have come back to the Church after a few years of lukewarm faith.  This time, God has called me back, and I would like to think I am listening.  I won't go into the details of my reversion at this time, but suffice to say that I am taking it more seriously than ever.

I took to reading Christian literature early in my reversion.  And a book that really made an impression on me is Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand.  It talks about his imprisonment under Communist Romania and the Underground Church that exists when Christians are persecuted.  He talks about some of the most beautiful conversion stories and some of the most interesting unsung martyrdom stories; people who suffered greatly for their faith.

This got me to thinking about our fellow Christians being persecuted in the Middle East, where Christianity has gone from 30% down to 10% or less.  So, in the very little I can do about it, short of picking up a weapon and fighting ISIL, I have decided to pray for persecuted Christians around the world, especially those in the Middle East.  I invite you to do the same.  The Power of Prayer.

Another thing that you can do to help is to donate to ChristiansAtRisk.org.  Any little bit helps!

If you prefer to donate by check, in the United States of America:
Make checks payable to:  Knights of Columbus Charities, Inc.
Kindly write    Christian Refugee Relief on the memo line of your check.
Send to:

Knights of Columbus Charities

One Columbus Plaza

PO Box 1966

New Haven, CT 06509-1966

In Canada,

Make checks payable to:  Knights of Columbus Canada Charities, Inc.

Kindly write    Christian Refugee Relief on the memo line of your check.

Send to:

Knights of Columbus Canada Charities

Gift Processing Center

PO Box 7252 Station A

Toronto, ON M5W 1X9

Whether a monetary gift is possible, please ask Mary Help of Christians for her intercession to Our Lord for our persecuted brethren around the world.

In the USA, at least, your donation is 100% tax deductible.