It's been a while since I have posted anything. This is a check in post. Life has had me busy. You know, going to school, taking care of my son, attending Mass as frequently as possible, some of the usual.
But I have been going through a period of spiritual dryness. I have no doubt that God exists and that He is here with us, but I have been wrestling with doubts about my Faith and my life.
In spite of all this, I adhere to obedience. I am somehow convinced that if there is a way out of this dryness is by obedience. I attend confession somewhat regularly and I go through the motions, even though there hasn't been a lifting of the spirit at absolution, like I usually feel. I attend Mass as regularly as possible and have even been to adoration. Yes, I feel his presence, but something is missing and I don't know what.
I am hoping that my depression isn't robbing me from this communion, but it feels like doubt wins lately.
I struggle with so many things but I try to not worry and just be happy. Be joyful. And be not afraid.
There are many changes going on in my life right now. Like I had said, I started school. And my long distance boyfriend is about to become local to me (yay!) I have a lot of stress but I keep Faith in the possibility that God won't burden my life with more than I can handle.
But I do have to figure out what about my free will. Have I taken on more than I should have? Have I made choices that have led me to this dryness?
It's all so complicated in my mind. But obedience. Being like a little child. Trusting that God will provide. It's all so hard. But we must keep trying. Right?
