I have been defiantly quiet about Brock Turner and his infamous rape case and following trial that resulted in a slap in the hand of 6 months of jail that turned out to be 3 months instead.
There has been much talk about white privilege and how he was treated with white gloves as compared to other rapists of color. And as much true as it all that may be, I won't get into that.
I have been the victim of rape. I have had my drink ruffied and consequently been gang-raped. While I was out and don't remember all of the details, I do know that I was violated in the most horrible of ways. I do know that I didn't ask for it, I didn't want it, and because it wasn't something I wanted or asked for, it has haunted me for 12 years and counting. It is something that I have been talking about in therapy for the last 8 years of my life, and I still have nightmares about it, and wake up sweating.
Someone on my Facebook feed dared to say that we should look into forgiveness and move on. I agree, but forgiveness doesn't mean that the perpetrator doesn't get to pay for their crime.
It has taken me a long time, but I am still forgiving my perpetrators. I haven't chosen to forgive them because "they didn't know what they were doing" or whatever other bullshit you can come up with. I am forgiving them because I need to in order to move on. The anger and frustration I have had have been more than anything feelings that in the end just punish me and do not let me move on.
I never tried hard enough to bring them to justice, however. And it is something that hangs over my head. So yes, 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, whatever, does not seem enough punishment for a rapist, someone that violates someone in the deepest and most personal way. I personally wish to see him rot in prison for the rest of his life, as rape is a life-altering crime. However, at least he was brought to justice, which is more than I can say for my perpetrators, and social media has condemned him, which is some sort of justice for the victim in this case. No, it is not enough punishment (is there ever enough punishment for rape?), but at least it's something, and it is more than can be said for all the unreported rape cases.
I still say, oust the judge, who has sentenced Brock in the stupidest of ways. Damn the justice system, which has failed the victim in the harshest of ways.
To the victim in this case: I hope in your recovery journey, you find peace.
How YOU can help: Help end rape culture. Only rapists cause rape. No one asks for it. Not in the way they dress, or they way they talk, walk, or dance. Not because they drink too much, or drug themselves silly, either. If it's not yes, it's no. If it's not a clear yes, it's no. If you're not sure, it's no. It's not worth to risk something so sacred, so special over an unclear proposition. If you have to drug them to have sex with them, it's rape. If you have to wait until they're unconscious to have sex with them, it's rape. It is not something you do for thrills and kicks. It is a crime, punishable by law and your conscience.
There has been much talk about white privilege and how he was treated with white gloves as compared to other rapists of color. And as much true as it all that may be, I won't get into that.
I have been the victim of rape. I have had my drink ruffied and consequently been gang-raped. While I was out and don't remember all of the details, I do know that I was violated in the most horrible of ways. I do know that I didn't ask for it, I didn't want it, and because it wasn't something I wanted or asked for, it has haunted me for 12 years and counting. It is something that I have been talking about in therapy for the last 8 years of my life, and I still have nightmares about it, and wake up sweating.
Someone on my Facebook feed dared to say that we should look into forgiveness and move on. I agree, but forgiveness doesn't mean that the perpetrator doesn't get to pay for their crime.
It has taken me a long time, but I am still forgiving my perpetrators. I haven't chosen to forgive them because "they didn't know what they were doing" or whatever other bullshit you can come up with. I am forgiving them because I need to in order to move on. The anger and frustration I have had have been more than anything feelings that in the end just punish me and do not let me move on.
I never tried hard enough to bring them to justice, however. And it is something that hangs over my head. So yes, 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, whatever, does not seem enough punishment for a rapist, someone that violates someone in the deepest and most personal way. I personally wish to see him rot in prison for the rest of his life, as rape is a life-altering crime. However, at least he was brought to justice, which is more than I can say for my perpetrators, and social media has condemned him, which is some sort of justice for the victim in this case. No, it is not enough punishment (is there ever enough punishment for rape?), but at least it's something, and it is more than can be said for all the unreported rape cases.
I still say, oust the judge, who has sentenced Brock in the stupidest of ways. Damn the justice system, which has failed the victim in the harshest of ways.
To the victim in this case: I hope in your recovery journey, you find peace.
How YOU can help: Help end rape culture. Only rapists cause rape. No one asks for it. Not in the way they dress, or they way they talk, walk, or dance. Not because they drink too much, or drug themselves silly, either. If it's not yes, it's no. If it's not a clear yes, it's no. If you're not sure, it's no. It's not worth to risk something so sacred, so special over an unclear proposition. If you have to drug them to have sex with them, it's rape. If you have to wait until they're unconscious to have sex with them, it's rape. It is not something you do for thrills and kicks. It is a crime, punishable by law and your conscience.
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