Who do we worship?

Do we really worship God?  Do we give Him his dues?  Or do we just roll around on Sundays, shut the alarm clocks, sleep "five more minutes" and then realize we are so late for Church and just have breakfast/brunch and watch a rerun on Keeping up with the Kardashians?

I know, it is so tempting to sleep in on Sundays, especially when Mass is offered so early in the USA.*  Especially when it seems to be the only day we can sleep in.  Or when it seems to be the one day we can really rest after spending Saturday catching up with everything else we didn't do during our busy weekdays.  I know.  I have been there.  I have missed Holy Sunday Day of Obligation because I was so busy just... catching up on some really needed zzzz's.

But who do we really worship?  It's one thing to miss Mass one day for whatever reason, and another to miss Mass because we're binge watching THAT show one Netflix or Keeping up with whomever!

Piggybacking on my post from 6/20/2016, Of Clutter and the Kingdom of God, are we really putting God first?  Just a thought to put out there in your mind.  I am not talking about clutter and stuff now.  I am talking about people you put above God.  You know, that TV show you follow.  Or that artist you just can't get enough of.

Are you putting them above God?  Are you missing Mass, not saying your usual prayers, looking at sinful stuff (yes, I am looking at you, 50 Shades of Grey fans and others) because you just think that Mass is boring?

Just remember that Mass is practice for Heaven.  Can we at least dedicate one hour a week to God?  That's all He asks from us, and He still doesn't usually get as much, but those soap operas, oh My Word, we are not missing them.  Oh my Lord.  We are not missing that opportunity to binge watch Game of Thrones (or whatever other show you binge watch)??

Just something to think about.  Most parishes offer several opportunities to receive Our Lord in the Eucharist in the Mass several times a weekend (with Saturday Vigil(s) included), and we still somehow just not plan accordingly.


*In Mexico, there used to be Sunday Masses as late as 1800h.

How Do We Pray?

It is thought provocative to me... How do we pray?  Do we pray like we are superior to others?  Do we pray like we hold the truth?  Do we pray like the Pharisee, ‘O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity—greedy, dishonest, adulterous—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.’  (Luke 18: 11-12)  Do we pray standing in the corners, for everyone to see how pious we are? (Matthew 6:5) Or do we pray like the tax collector?  'O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’ (Luke 18:13)

The Pharisee is quick to point out everything he does right - and everything wrong he doesn't do.  The Tax Collector (also known as the Publican) just asks God for mercy, for he recognizes that he is not perfect.

And do we pray sincerely?  Do we pray humbly?  Do we recognize that we are not perfect and that we make mistakes?  Do we pray in our room, with doors closed? (Matthew 6:5)

Do we pray with honest intention?

It doesn't matter much if we pray all day when we are not sincere in our hearts.  When we pray for someone to have ill luck because we're angry, for example, it's time to evaluate what kind of intentions we have in our hearts.  It's okay to be angry with God.  I think it's part of every relationship to have angry moments.  But it's not okay to have ill intentions in our prayers.

Depression Brought Me Closer to God.

Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems.

I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, since 2008.  At the time, there was much turmoil in my life, and I wasn't in the Church.  I had fallen off.  I wasn't going to Mass, I wasn't praying, I was somewhat agnostic.  I was single, pregnant, and scared.  I had just come back home from a year-long deployment with the U.S. Navy.  My world had just come crashing in.  And in June 2008, mid-pregnancy, I was so depressed that my OB/GYN didn't let me leave the office.  It was that obvious that I was that sad, and I was contemplating suicide after I delivered my baby.  I just felt that worthless and that hopeless.

Soon after I delivered my baby, I lost my job.  I had married the father of my baby on a Justice of the Peace celebration.  So some things were sort of looking up.  I still tried to attempt suicide, but was thankfully too chicken to try.  I considered the possibility of Hell, since I had known this from my formation as a cradle Catholic, and after having talked to a priest about the possibility of getting married in the Church.  Either way, I was so sick that I still went down the suicide path several times.

However, through the years of treatment at the Veterans Affairs Hospital in Chicago, one of the things they push, is that spirituality may be a pillar that keeps you sane.  Over and over this possibility was brought to the table as part of my treatment, and over and over I turned it down.

I had fallen into the idea that intellect alone should save me from the throes of depression.  I had fallen in the un-humble idea that I didn't need God.  If science has so many answers and so many treatments for depression, if I just follow what science says, I should be able to overcome.

Eventually, after about 6 years of "self-sufficiency", I came across a psychologist whom I respect very much.  She insisted - without pushing or preaching - I tried the spiritual pillar of recovery as part of my recovery plan.  I eventually gave in.  She scheduled an appointment for me to meet with the Catholic Chaplain.

I would like to say that I was obedient and humble and that I was able to immediately learn from what this Priest had to say.  But it was not so.  It was only after about 1 year of talking with him back and forth that I slowly came back to the faith and I gained humility and obedience (which they are NOT perfect - way far from perfect, but I try).

I now attend Mass more than just on Saturday Vigil or Sundays and Holy Days.  Sometimes it's a real struggle, but I try my absolute best.  Not because I feel like I am all holy these days - far from it, but because I want to be closer to God.

During my last hospitalization, which was just a few weeks ago, I had a confession with this Chaplain, and mentioned how I was closer to God and more "Christ-like".  He challenged my thought.  He asked me how it was that I was more Christ-like when I was still contemplating suicide?  I realized at this very moment that I needed to be more humble and that I also needed the help of God to get through this most horrible illness.

As you can see from the timeline, I am still a work in progress -  we all are.  But it was this descent down madness that led me to eventually seek God, and return to my faith, making this Cross I bear (depression) a blessing in disguise.

As I grow in faith and prayer, I realize that as much as I hate my depression, it is also a blessing I have.  It is as much a reason to increase my prayer life as it is a reason to thank God for everything that goes on in my life, including the bad.

Who am I called to be?

There comes a time in the life of Christians in which we ask "Who am I called to be?".

I can't claim to have the answers, because I don't think I do.  However, there are certain things that can help us discern who we are called to be.

Firstly, God created us in a very unique way.  No other human is exactly like us, and God had us in His mind, from the beginning of times, and placed us where and when we are.  When you think about this, I think that there must be a reason that God decided to put me in this world, in this day and age, and that I must figure out what He wants of me.

However, how am I supposed to know what He wants from me?

1.  PRAYER

Prayer is a relationship, a conversation with God.  How do we find out what others want from us?  We ask them in conversation.  So why not have the same approach with God?  You can approach prayer in any which way you want.  That is, with prayers that come from the heart, or from a book.  The basic idea here is to get talking to God.  It may take some time, but a prayerful life will bear fruit.

I know from my personal experience that prayer can seem very one-sided, especially at the beginning.  However, when we keep at it, we find out that God has ways of talking to us.

2.  LISTENING

Listening is very difficult, but as your prayer life increases, listening becomes easier.  God has many ways of talking to us.  In the homilies at Mass, in reading the Bible or the lives of the saints, in what other people may say about your problem without asking them, in dreams, etc.  However, one must be careful with listening.  Listening should be guided by the Church teachings.  God is not going to tell you, for example, to stop going to confession, because that is against Church teaching.  For help in discerning the listening, go to your nearest priest.

3.  HUMILITY

We don't know the answers to everything.  We can't do everything.  We can't make everything happen.  We can't control everything that is going on.  Not everything is going to go our way.  We must accept life's shortcomings with humility.  We are a community of Christians.  We don't need to do everything by ourselves.  With a humble mentality, we can begin to figure out how we can be of service to others.  It is often in service to others that we can begin to see what God wants of us.

4.  STOP TRYING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE

This is perhaps the most straightforward (as in DUH!) and deep (as in I hadn't thought of it before).  It is very easy to read about a person that plants a garden and tends to it, and think that is something we can do (yet we hate to dig our hands in dirt).  Or about people that do something that sounds oh-so-wonderful, but we can't do certain things about this oh-so-wonderful enterprise.  (For example, climbing Mt Everest... not everyone has the stamina to do so!)

To paraphrase Pope Francis, the Church is like an orchestra.  We are all different instruments.  Together we make beautiful music together, but we are not all the same.  It's okay to be different!

The key here is personal development.  When you concentrate on what you like, the gifts that the Lord has given you (that is, that isn't sinful!) and learn more about it, eventually, who you're called to be will be revealed.  Just remember to deepen your prayer life, prepare to listen carefully and with humility, be humble, and find yourself.

As St. Catherine of Siena once said, "If you are what you should be, you'll set the whole world ablaze."

Reporting on the 7 day challenge.

My gosh, has it been hard to be a vegetarian for 7 days!  Not because I love meat (which I do), but because being a mom on the go, I often eat out, and there aren't many vegetarian options out there!  Usually a salad, please hold the chicken!

I have a couple of days left in the challenge, and I am kind of happy that the fast will end.  I will probably keep fasting, but intermittently.  I know, it's kind of cheating, but I can't really be a vegetarian like I used to... It's just a convenience thing.  (I know, fasting is supposed to be inconveniencing...)  Just not my kind of lifestyle anymore.

But I was thinking vegetarian on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?  Or other kind of fasting?  There are many possibilities.  But for now, it has been hard!  I know it gets easier the longer you do it and the more you are committed to it, because like I said, I used to be vegetarian (like 12 or 15 years ago...)

The purpose of the fast was to strengthen my prayers.

7-day challenge in June.

Inspired by Fr. Dave Dwyer's 30-day challenge of the Busted Halo Show, I decided to do my own 7 day challenge.  I unfortunately only caught the tail end of it, and as much as I love the Busted Halo Show, I will be perfectly honest, I am probably not going to have the time to look for the podcast and listen to it.  It would probably serve me well to do so, but I likely won't.  Since their 30-day challenge starts on June 20, I am pretty sure they will talk about it again, so I will probably talk about it again when I hear about it next.

But for now, from today to June 13, I will have my very own challenge.  You can join me, and I highly encourage you to join me.  I will give up meat and soda.  I will become ovo-lacto-vegetarian for those 7 days.  I will offer this sacrifice for Christians persecuted around the world, especially in China and the Middle East, as well as for the religious education of children who are not being educated in the Faith, but that otherwise have no reason to not be catechized, especially my son, who lives with his agnostic father.

Thankful this Memorial Day.

Memorial Day is the day we remember our fallen heroes in the United States.

Today, I write a short reflection in gratitude for those who have given the Ultimate Sacrifice.

In light of the persecution of Christians and other religious minorities in the Middle East and other parts of the world, I am really thankful for the Military and the powers that be, that keep us free to worship God.

So, this Memorial Day, make sure to be thankful to God:

• We live in a place where we are free to worship God.
• We live in a place where we enjoy many other freedoms.
• We have a mighty military that is an all-voluntary force.

Be sure to ask God:

• For the protection of those persecuted for their faith.
• For the future of those persecuted for their faith, that they might enjoy freedom of worship (that we seem to take for granted).
• For the souls of our dearly departed servicemembers and veterans, that they may enter His Kingdom.
• For the families of those who have lost their lives defending freedom around the world.

If you can, attend Mass (or a service) that honors those who have died.

Divine Mercy

Jesus will grant many graces to those who trust in His mercy.  The more we trust, the more we receive.  Even if hardened sinners were to recite this Chaplet only once, with trust, humility, and deep sorrow for their sins, they would obtain mercy, graces, and peace.

Whoever recites the Chaplet will receive great mercy at the hour of death.  When it is said for the dying, whether in their presence or from a distance, Jesus will stand between the Father and the dying person, not as the just Judge, but as the Merciful Savior.  He will grant great mercy and graces to souls as their last hope of salvation.

How to pray the Chaplet.

The Christian Faith Is So Rich.

I have a few other blogs on WordPress where the scope of what I write is so narrow, that it is sometimes hard to come up with a new topic to talk about.  This one is about my faith musings, which is admittedly broader, and at the same time narrow - it is about my faith, my Church.  But I am having very much the opposite effect with this blog.

There is so much richness, so much material about the Church, the Faith, Catholicism, that it is very hard for me to actually narrow down the topic enough to be effective.  First of all, at the macro level, while the Bible is not infinite, it is definitely a collection of many many books - Old and New Testament.  Then there is the Catechism, while based on Scripture, it also includes reflections on the lives of saints and Tradition.  Then, of course, the lives of each of the saints, the Mass, prayers, interior life (and so much more!)...

In addition, we have then what I like to call the micro-level topics - which are nothing small in and of themselves.  A specific passage in the Bible.  A specific aspect on the life of a saint.  A specific part of the Mass.

I thought that by giving myself leeway on the scope of things, it would be easier to write, but it is not.  So, in light of all of this, how does one effectively evangelize?  How does one approach someone outside the Church (or inside who needs reversion!) without overwhelming them?  I am a cradle Catholic and I sometimes feel overwhelmed!  There's just so much richness to our Christian Faith.